THE question???

Hey um...maybe someone can help me out here, I'm spazzin.

My boyfriend...he's 19, graduated in '06, we've been dating for almost 2 1/2 years so we've been through a lot...

Well, he called my dad yesterday and asked him to lunch this afternoon. I didn't think anything of it until my Pharm. Tech said something about him maybe wanting to pop the question.    Don't get me wrong, I love him...a lot...but...I mean, come on. I'm just now finishing up my senior year. I've still got 6 years of college and everything.

So...could he maybe have wanted something else? Had another reason for asking dad to lunch? ...or maybe someone has already been there done that and can tell me about it???

For right now...relax. Wait and see what the lunch was about. If it does concern engagement, well that is something you will have to search your own heart and mind about when the time comes. I just feel that is not something strangers should be advising you on.

Well. If he does, politely turn him down and tell him to ask again in about six years....

I would have to assume your dad will tell him that you are too young to get married and maybe convince him into waiting till after you are done with college. Unless you dad wants you out of the house and says its ok..lol... Honestly it's best to live with a person first before proposing for marriage, because you learn alot more about a person after living with them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: nj4x4blaze
I would have to assume your dad will tell him that you are too young to get married and maybe convince him into waiting till after you are done with college. Unless you dad wants you out of the house and says its ok..lol... Honestly it's best to live with a person first before proposing for marriage, because you learn alot more about a person after living with them.

Agreed.  That's the whole purpose behind asking the Father ahead of time.  He knows what's best for you. 

As far as living together...it's a tough call for me.  All the research shows that people who cohabitat before marriage are 50% more likely to divorce than those who don't.  And if the divorce rate is already at 50%...well, you do the math.  BUT, personal experience tells me that it is good to know what kind of person you'll be living with before you get married.  My Wife and I have other bonds and commitments that prevent us from divorce so it's not an issue with us.  Yet another reason to take it slooooooow and really learn about your boyfriend.  My fiancee basically ended up living in the apartment we would be together in after marriage for two months prior to our wedding.  Her Mother moved to Baltimore and left my now-Wife with nowhere to live, and no sense in renting a place for two months.  I definitely got to see another side to how she lived as far as cleanliness and all that so I have no excuse.  I knew she was going to be messy! LOL!

if he does ask you, dont answer with just what he wants to here. you need to be competely sure on what you want and be honest with him

Is your birthday coming up?

I asked my gf parents on gift ideas...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zasder

Is your birthday coming up?

I asked my gf parents on gift ideas...

 
This is what I was thinking??? If not then if he pops the question smack him in the head and say what are you thinking LOL

nope. Birthday was in November.  ...V-Day is comin up though, right? Maybe that's it...

DON'T DO IT!
If he loves you that much he'll wait. You get married to early and the next thing ya know your a mommy then school get put on the back burner and then you regret it for ever. Life come at your fast slow down and check it out from all angles...

jeez oh peets...I'm freaking 29 and not married...oh god..I didn't know anything at 18!!! I am sure your dad wouldn't be for it...I can only imagine the reaction my dad would have if some one asked me to marry him at that age!!(my dad would probably be in prison as he would have shot the guy with his shot gun!)  Don't sweat it! You have the rest of your life to decide what you would do!....

and to not rob the thread too much...I'm with Trippleblackblazer...I don't believe in living with some one before marraige..when I was engaged..we were in the process in buying a house..I would have lived in it until we were married....you don't need to "try out living together" to see if it would work in the long run....you better freaking know before you say Yes!

Way too young to get hitched, wait till you are out of school and got your feet planted in life, nothing worse then starting out "LIFE" being in debt and committed to someone.  I just popped the question to the mother of my kids( kids are 2&3) and im 27.

Just if he really loves you he will wait to get married as long as needed, if not then take it as a big sign that it was never truly meant to be.

If he is planning thta, he knows with you getting ready to go off to college there is a 97% chance you guys will break up during that time, because no matter how much you think ya'll have gone through, you haven't seen anything yet.


Although it might be nothing.  Just ride it out and tell him NO if he does ask.  Tell him you are not ready for that step yet. 

DON'T DO IT! LOL!!
 
No I'm j/k...marriage can be a great thing, when you marry the right person, that is! And by saying marry the right person, I mean, the right person for you! I think everyone has a "right person" for them...I don't think very many people are not the marrying "TYPE", as they say. It's all about finding that right person for YOU. Not everyone does that, though...and you get stuck with domestic hell. It's like I always say, life is short, until you marry the wrong person, and it can get pretty damn long!
 
Maybe he invited your dad to lunch to ask him for a loan...is that's the case, DUMP HIM!

in  reply  to  bobthe blazer   DON'T DO IT! LOL!!

No I'm j/k...marriage can be a great thing, when you marry the right person, that is! And by saying marry the right person, I mean, the right person for you! I think everyone has a "right person" for them...I don't think very many people are not the marrying "TYPE", as they say. It's all about finding that right person for YOU. Not everyone does that, though...and you get stuck with domestic hell. It's like I always say, life is short, until you marry the wrong person, and it can get pretty damn long!

Maybe  he invited your dad to lunch to ask him for a loan...is that's the case, DUM                               sounds a s  if  you    havent  found  the  right  person      and  your in  domestic  hell   care  to  share   ???  life  cant  be  all  that bad  .............

can we get an update on this? did he pop the big one or not?

i honestly don't know. Lunch went off without a hitch, I guess, they both said it went well....but neither of them will tell me what they talked about =[[

quote:

ORIGINAL: beastinblazer
                             sounds a s  if  you    havent  found  the  right  person      and  your in  domestic  hell   care  to  share   ???  life  cant  be  all  that bad  .............

 
Ummm, life isn't bad, just interesting! Yes, interesting...that's a lovely way of putting it.

i dont see how people can say that you are too youngor not. that might or might not be true. i hear it constanly because im only 20 and getting married in april. so i ask them why and they tell me they think i will start wanting to go out and party and live the single life again soon. but i have done that pretty much all through high school and im tired of it. then they say i cant afford it and i will not be able to afford anything and we will have to suffer. well so i ask them how much i make and they never can tell me, and over half the time i make a good bit more than they do. then they start about insurence and a house and all that BS, well i have insurence and can make a house payment, then they say i need to have money put back for family emergancy , well once again i am prepared, i have a saving that is equal to or a little moe than 5 months income, so i just think its not anybody's place to say you are too young or that you are not ready, unless they are close enought that they know your situation.  just because they made mistakes or were not ready then doesn't make it the same for everyone.  sorry for the long post but i have been hearing all this for a while and just wanted to express how i feel

My moneys on V-Day.  Last year I got my girlfriends parents involved in my little plan to do something real sweet for my darling .  Now granted I just talked to em one night when I went over to her house...lunch is too expensive 

^^^lol^^^ that sound like something i would do

I would bet its V-day arrangements.  If you and your BF have been toghther that long, i'm sure you communicate very well.  If so, I don't think that he would just out of nowhere think of marrige on his own and not even discuss it.  It might not even BE wedding talks.  Maby your BF just wants to get to know your Father a bit better and spend some time with him... A little male bonding, hahaha.  Theres nothing better then becoming close with your BF/GF's family and feeling at home when with them and at their home.  Don't worry, just be honest with him regardless of what happens and everything will work out.  Don't loose any sleep over it.

male bonding... makes sense. What better place to get to know my daddy than a pubic place? Lots of witnesses lol     Dad's been a police officer for like, ever, & I'm a serious daddy's girl, so... He runs the county jail now (Thank God, i hated him working on the road) & every time Andrew (the boyfriend) has ever come over, dads guns all mysteriously need cleaning lol

I agree with what everybody here is saying. Wait and see what happens.

Okay give me your BF's phone number so I can get to the bottom of this....inquiring minds and a few mindless people (no offence Bob) want to know!